¡Introducing the BootStian!

"Spanfeller is a twat" (theaspiringengineer)
06/12/2019 at 14:20 • Filed to: Satire, I WAS ALMOST RAN OVER, AGAIN....

Howdy, pedestrian, are you tired of this happening to you?

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

We’re coming up with the solution! The BootStian! (Previously called the Pedesboot but obviously changed) It will change your LIFEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Bootstian’s patented knife system will give you the weapons to fight angry car drivers who do not respect the, universal, right of way that pedestrians have in large metropolitan areas.

IT IS DC PROOF

When approaching a pedestrian crossing, simply trigger the knife by stomping on the back of the shoe and slide your foot under the speeding car’s tire! BootStian’s titanium tip is rated for almost one thousand weight units (you figure out whether you can slip under a suburban or not!)

IT IS PARIS PROOF

After the speeding car steps over your boot, THEIR TIRE WILL BE PUNCTURED!
YOU WILL RUIN THEIR DAY.

¡¡¡IT IS PROBABLY NOT ILLEGAL!!!!

Image purely educational, obviously this isn’t the owner’s Kia because he doesn’t have a single scratch on his rims.

We trust bootstian’s titatium tip so much, that the handsome, smart, and very hung owner of the company who is also very humble put HIS OWN FOOT in the path of an angry driver’s path and HE SURVIVED

IT IS MEXICO CITY PROOF*

If the driver tries to chase you so that you pay for the punctures! they won’t be able to! Even if you get stopped, the driver technically crashed into you! So not only will they have to pay for the punctures, they could lose points off their license!

We’ve carried out extensive testing and here are the results!

One blown tire and a day ruined!

Yes, Obviously it was a fucking BMW! What else could it be!

*: Bootstian will not be held responsible for bodily injury when carrying out vandalism, or if a taxi driver pulls out a gun at you when you try this shit out!

DISCUSSION (20)

BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo > Spanfeller is a twat
06/12/2019 at 14:26

Call me when you make a Bogota-proof one

Chariotoflove > Spanfeller is a twat
06/12/2019 at 14:28

Make a wheelchair attachment version. K thx bye.

Spanfeller is a twat > BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo
06/12/2019 at 14:29

Bootstian’s Mexico City proof(TM) rating applies for all of Latin America except Brazil!

Spanfeller is a twat > Chariotoflove
06/12/2019 at 14:30

We are working on a model with that! It might also come with shotguns !*

*: Only in NRA-friendly states

Chariotoflove > Spanfeller is a twat
06/12/2019 at 14:30

Spear gun is much quieter. Just saying.

Spanfeller is a twat > Chariotoflove
06/12/2019 at 14:32

Excellent . We love receiving feedback from potential customers!

Chariotoflove > Spanfeller is a twat
06/12/2019 at 14:35

Once saw a couple of kids pull up to a restaurant in Dad’s Explorer and park diagonally across the handicap spots to cover as many as possible, then run in.

I tried to let the air out of their tires, but it took too long, as I didn’t have a tool.

I wanted to key a w/c symbol on the door like H andicapped Zoro, but my wife got nervous.

Yeah, I’m vindictive like that. I’d say I’m your target market for sure.

Spanfeller is a twat > Chariotoflove
06/12/2019 at 14:36

I would’ve probably helped you out relieving those tires of air had I been there.

Chariotoflove > Spanfeller is a twat
06/12/2019 at 14:47

I know you would.

Snuze: Needs another Swede > Chariotoflove
06/12/2019 at 14:55

I was also going to suggest an air rifle, but based on this post I’m not sure if you need anymore ideas...

Chariotoflove > Snuze: Needs another Swede
06/12/2019 at 14:57

No, I need all the ideas.

Snuze: Needs another Swede > Chariotoflove
06/12/2019 at 15:13

Well, air rifles aren’t firearms by definition so gun laws don’t apply, some of the modern pre-charged pneumatic air rifles are as powerful as a .40 caliber handgun, and you can legally suppress them without going through the NFA hassle (again, not a firearm) to make them very quiet.

Chariotoflove > Snuze: Needs another Swede
06/12/2019 at 15:21

Snuze: Needs another Swede > Chariotoflove
06/12/2019 at 15:53

I feel obligated to add that you need to check local laws, as the whole “not a gun” thing only really applies federally.

I coach a junior small-bore rifle and air rifle team which is why I’m familiar with “real” air rifles. We don’t shoot the super powerful ones I mentioned , but that’s kind of how I came to know about them. We shoot Feinwerkebau 700's, which are in the common .177 caliber, but made in Germany and cost about $2500 each. T hey will put a pellet through the same hole everytime (if the shooter is that good). People hear air rifle and think Ralphy and his Red Ryder, they really have no idea.

HondoyotaE38: A Japanese and German Collab...wait a minute > Spanfeller is a twat
06/12/2019 at 16:04

What the fuck did I just read

WilliamsSW > Snuze: Needs another Swede
06/12/2019 at 16:09

This is good Oppo

WilliamsSW > Chariotoflove
06/12/2019 at 16:10

As long as the spear gun is powerful enough to puncture steel if your aim is a little off I support this.

Chariotoflove > Snuze: Needs another Swede
06/12/2019 at 16:54

I’m not too worried. I’m in Texas. It’s gun friendly here.

That said, although I shoot guns on occasion, I don’t own one and don’t feel the need to get one, air or otherwise. I do like the idea air rifles for target shooting.

Snuze: Needs another Swede > Chariotoflove
06/12/2019 at 17:01

Dang, I was gonna say, if you’re interested in a target air rifle, my club is trying to sell a few of our older ones :D

The air rifles are great because we can shoot them indoor year round at 10 meters, which is a normal competition distance . The technique and a lot of the supporting gear is the same as what’s used in smallbore rifle shooting, so there’s a lot of overlap there. There are competitions that go 25m and even 50m, but there aren’t too many 50m indoor ranges and outdoors the slightest breeze plays havoc with a small pellet. It’s still tons of fun though.

Chariotoflove > Snuze: Needs another Swede
06/12/2019 at 18:39

It is, but my wife would flip if I told her I wanted to keep a gun of any kind. More importantly, it’d collect dust because I’d have to go to a range to shoot it, and I’d never get around to it.